UPDATE: Amos and Story

At her blog, Jamie Ivey has been posting updates regarding the integration of their two newest family members, Amos and Story, into the family. The latest update gives a glimpse into how difficult adoption can be.

Amos asks me every day why I love him. I’ll tell him I love him and he looks at me and says why do you love me? I hate this question. I have never had to explain this Cayden, Deacon or even Story. They have never questioned my love. Amos does daily. Not only in his heart, but he vocalizes it too.

pray for the Iveys as they love and parent these four precious children that God has given them. Pray for Amos to realize that he is here to stay with parents that love him simply because God gave him to them for that purpose.

see here for background information.


family reengineering

you may recall a previous post on my blog regarding a liberal anthropologist’s case against homosexual marriage.

today I present a conservative atheist’s questions about reengineering the family. worth a read. I like Heather’s ending the best:

These are not easy questions. The deprivation to gays from not being able to put the official, public stamp of legitimacy on their love is large. If one were confident that gay marriage would have at most a negligible effect on the ongoing dissolution of the traditional family, I would see no reason to oppose it. And fertility technology is hardly the only source of stress on families; heterosexual adults have been wreaking havoc on the two-parent family for the last five decades in their quest for maximal freedom and choice. The self-interested assumption behind that havoc has been that what’s good for adults must be good for children: If adults want flexibility in their living arrangements, then children will benefit from it, as well. Perhaps children are as infinitely malleable as it would be convenient for them to be. But if it turns out that they thrive best with stability in their lives and that the traditional family evolved to provide that stability, then our breezy jettisoning of child-rearing traditions may not be such a boon for children.

The facile libertarian argument that gay marriage is a trivial matter that affects only the parties involved is astoundingly blind to the complexity of human institutions and to the web of sometimes imperceptible meanings and practices that compose them. Equally specious is the central theme in attorney Theodore Olson’s legal challenge to California’s Proposition 8: that only religious belief or animus towards gays could explain someone’s hesitation regarding gay marriage. Anyone with the slightest appreciation for the Burkean understanding of tradition will feel the disquieting burden of his ignorance in this massive act of social reengineering, even if he ultimately decides that the benefits to gays from gay marriage outweigh the risks of the unknown.

so. what do you think?

middle age

courtesy of Allen James (@pastoraj) here is a nice list of ten of the benefits of getting a bit older.

here are the first two to get you started, but click through and read them all:

  • I am less concerned about impressing others. I probably wasn’t that impressive anyway, but now I don’t care as much to try.
  • I get to act more out of experience now, having often “been there and done that.”
  • I especially like 8 and 9

    wedding yesterday

    the daughter of a good friend of ours was married yesterday.
    Katherine's wedding

    it was an outdoor wedding at Kindred Oaks in Leander/Georgetown/way north area. It was lovely and fun. the weather cooperated in a big way and it wasn’t too hot.

    Katherine's wedding

    a wife’s submission

    here is the personal story of a former feminist atheist who eventually converted to catholicism learning to embrace the leadership of her husband in the home.

    There has also been a part of my conversion on this issue that cannot be explained in terms of logic and reason. It’s nothing I could prove to a skeptic, but I have seen God work in my life in a big way on the occasions when I’ve sacrifice my own preferences in order to let my husband have the tiebreaking vote. Even when I am just sure that I am right, when I am positive that the fabric of the universe will tear apart if things don’t go my way, when I step aside and turn the decision over to my husband, things have this uncanny way of working out for the best.

    I’ve found that submitting to my husband’s authority is not about power and control, but about freeing up everyone’s mental energy to live and love and focus on what really matters. As with so many other things, these ideas about household structure that I once saw as oppressive and cold rules I now see as just part of a prescription for living a life of love.

    the whole thing is very interesting and worth a thorough read.

    hat tip to @kathrynlopez on twitter.

    reality of marriage

    Challies put up an article on Monday just after his eleventh wedding anniversary that was a very real look at marriage through the device of wanting to give his younger newly married self some counseling.

    the whole thing is good, but I thought this part was especially helpful because so many people have unrealistic ideas of the marriage relationship:

    Prepare to Hurt and Be Hurt!. One of the greatest ironies and the greatest tragedies of marriage is that a husband and wife have more opportunities to sin against one another than against anyone else in all the world. Over the course of eleven years of marriage, I have hurt Aileen more than anyone else and have sinned against her more than I’ve sinned again anyone else. I suppose this means that marriage also offers unparalleled opportunities to extend forgiveness and to choose to overlook sin. While Aileen and I have had our share of struggles over the years, I truly believe that we carry no bitterness toward one another. Through God’s grace we have offered and received forgiveness time and time again. And through his grace we have overlooked many an offense. Yet there have been many occasions when we have hurt one another and when we have let this wounds fester for just a little too long.

    If I could go back, I would prepare myself to be hurt and, even more, would seek to emphasize kindness and forbearance and grace so that I could hurt my wife far less often.

    that is why I Peter 4:8 says “Above all, keep fervent in your love for one another, because love covers a multitude of sins.”

    I can tell you after 20 years of married life that in a marriage there are many many sins that will need to be covered by fervent love. It is when you let your love grow cold that bitterness grows. Once bitterness takes hold of your heart, it is very difficult to uproot, so that love can flourish again.

    The writer of Hebrews warned against ever letting the root of bitterness grow and prescribed the grace of God as the preventative. “See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no “root of bitterness” springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled.”

    rebuilding a marriage after an affair

    here is another Piper answer. this one regarding what to do to rebuild a marriage after one of the couple has had an affair. Tough timely stuff.

    HT vitamin z